A Funny Thing.......!

Last week I flew to Sydney to meet an old buddy of mine Peggy, who had flown in from Canada. It was while we were all sitting around a Tepenaki table telling stories,  that I came up with the bright idea of putting pen to paper or finger’s to keys once again.

Peggy reminded me about the book I had written a hundred years ago and how funny it was and still is, I never got a round to publishing it.

I have my own fashion label now and I simply don’t have time to write like I did then but I thought I could jot down stories as I remember them and just maybe a few of you will get a laugh.

My son Eddy was in hysterics as I told stories even I find hard to believe. Peggy was surprised that he hadn’t heard half of the things I had gotten up to in my youth.

Peggy calls me LUCY which is fairly appropriate considering I have bright red hair and do something ridiculously silly, without meaning to on a daily basis.

So here goes either you love my anecdotes or hate them.

I will write as I remember stuff and if your having a really bad day at work I hope I make it just a bit cheerier.

Yes…….. cheerier I was born in the fifties, we used to say golly and swell too, are you sure you want to keep reading.

The very day after seeing Peggy and her family off  I had something funny happen, I think she will appreciate this.

I had some time to kill before I left Sydney to fly home, my flight was delayed so I decided to get a massage.

The place I went to was a lovely little Thai place where you lay in a comfy recliner with your feet up while they massage your neck and head. Only thing is they massaged my head and hair so much I felt really out of it by the time they had finished.

 I went off to the toilet feeling pretty woozy. Anyhoo …………..when I walked into the little cubicle there were candles everywhere, on the sink, on the floor, on the sistern. At closer inspection I could see the walls were cracked and dismal and if there had been a light to turn on, it may not have been so pretty.

So I sit on the loo and  of course couldn’t find the toilet paper. I turned around and there was a roll behind me on the sistern so I reached for it and  decided it was better on the wee shelf on my left. I placed it there not realising that the tail end of it had gone into one of the candles on the floor and caught fire. Flames were travelling up to the roll really fast and once they reached it I thought the thing would burst into flames and explode.  I knocked the roll off the shelf  and stomped on it with my left foot whilst still managing to keep me butt on the loo. Thank god I didn’t put my back out on top of it all. I broke the little glass pot and wax went everywhere as did flames, ash and toilet paper. What a mess, I managed to reach the sink throw water from another candle pot and put it out all the time swearing and hoping no one could hear me. I hid the evidence behind the toilet and left. Hopefully not trailing toilet paper from my shoe, I checked don’t worry, I’ve done that before. 

Which reminds me of another story……..Cinderella or the Ugly Sister.

My husband Deane had bought me a very thoughtful  present for my birthday a few years back. A half  day in a really beautiful Spa in David Jones.  The spa was on the second floor of the department store and yes, this is relevant.

Same thing again I had just had the most wonderful facial and head massage, I think that does something crazy to my brain.

 I was on another planet……..my kids call it Planet Stoopider. Anyhoo, I leave the spa and head off down the escalator only to find I have landed in heaven, well my kind of  heaven.

 The shoe department. I wander in a bit further and there in the middle of all the shoes, on the floor, are the most sparkley, turquoise, beautiful thongs or flip flops I have ever seen. I slip off my shoes and slip comfortably into these ones wondering what price they will be. I’m standing looking at them in the  mirror when a very unhappy lady comes over and announces that they are thongs. I must have looked a bit mystified and she repeated that they were her actual thongs not DJs.
I made a face and told her it was a mistake anyone could have made and walked off and out of them.